Assertive Communication Skills And Techniques To Get The Upper Hand In Life
By Michael Lee

Having assertive communication skills is important. They influence the way other people look at you and help you seem more confident even if you don't really feel all that courageous.

In the workplace, having assertive communication skills puts you at the top of the food chain. Your superiors and your co-workers will know better than to try to bully you or undermine your ideas. If you feel ready to take on a new lease on life, read on!

Assertiveness Technique # 1: Use "I" More Often Than "You."

People have a funny way of reading into things. Even the way you use your pronouns is now subject to analysis. But here's a way to turn this knowledge to your advantage.

If you want to appear more assertive, use "I" more instead of "You." For one, starting your sentences with "You" gives others the impression that you're putting the blame on other people. "I," on the other hand, tells people that you're not afraid to put yourself out there, and that what you're thinking and what you're feeling are yours and yours alone.

Of course, it is also important that you not stutter when asserting yourself this way. Keep your tone firm but pleasant.

Assertiveness Technique # 2: Ask Questions.

One example of assertive communication skills is asking questions. People who are afraid or intimidated would most likely nod their heads and accept their fate. Assertive individuals, however, are not afraid to raise a question or two if it would help them understand the situation or the message better.

Mind you, asking stupid questions will only get you into trouble. Make sure to take down notes and listen effectively so you won't miss any basic detail.

Assertiveness Technique # 3: Believe In Yourself.

Perhaps one of the most important assertive communication skills is believing in yourself. You don't have to tell yourself that you're the best speaker in your team. Start with telling yourself that you know you're going to do your best; and however other people take it, at least you have no regrets.

This might be quite a mouthful to remember, but instilling self-confidence is very important. Try some of these assertiveness techniques at home and in front of a mirror so you can study your facial expressions and tone of voice. Familiarizing yourself with the concept of using "I" and asking questions can help you adjust to the idea of assertiveness better.

The most extroverted person can be painfully shy and the most introverted person can turn out to be the most assertive of the bunch. There is no set formula for assertive communication skills and techniques. What you can do is work on what you have and work your way up.