You know you're only hurting
yourself by being angry and yet you can't stop the feeling from
boiling inside you. What do you do? Try anger management. Yes,
you can do anger management even if it feels like a bomb is
about to explode from deep inside you.
First, whatever it is that's
causing you to feel the urge to smash the face of someone, no
matter how intense that feeling is, freeze! Distract your mind
from what's bugging you by verbally counting numbers, from one
to 10 to 100 or to a thousand or .... No, you won't reach the
millionth count because by the time you get tired of counting,
your anger would have subsided.
If you feel silly counting numbers,
do something physically strenuous like going for a brisk walk
or jog. You can go to the swimming pool and cool down. You can
go to the gym to exercise. Physical activity provides a channel
for your strong emotions to run through.
If sweating it out isn't exactly
your cup of tea, you can still manage your anger by simply calming
and soothing yourself. Lock yourself in your room, turn off
or dim the lights, sit down and meditate. If you know yoga,
this is the best time to practice it.
If you don't know yoga, then
just take slow, deep breaths. Visualize a comforting scene -
a serene forest or lake or park with just you and nature all
around. Repeat a calming phrase or word to yourself like "calm
down" or "cool down."
You can also listen to music
- whatever you like but preferably gentle, meditative music
to ease the burning sensation in your mind.
You can paint, write a blog,
surf the Internet, or do any other thing to distract your mind
from what's causing you trouble.
Once you've calm down, deal with
your anger that's still embedded inside your system by expressing
it in a controlled, deliberate manner either to the person who
caused you to feel angry or to a family member, friend, counselor,
or any person you trust.
Now that you're in control of
your emotions, you'll have the facility to avoid saying hurtful
things that would only aggravate the conflict and your anger,
which you would later regret having done. If you're not sure
how you can best confront the source of your anger, try to write
a script of what you plan to say to that person. Remember: Stick
to issues and don't get personal.
Try not to hold a grudge against
any person. Try to forgive. Bear in mind that it's unrealistic
to expect someone to do and act as you please.
Try to be humorous or witty when
talking to an offending person. The smiles and laughter you
would cause could release the tensions.
Don't be sarcastic. Sarcasm may sound witty to you but it will
not sound funny at all to the person listening to you. This
could only inflame the situation.
If you have the time and the
patience, write on your blog or diary the situation that caused
you to feel angry. Monitor your response to every situation.
You see, it's not that hard to
manage your anger.
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