If you feel like a volcano is
about to explode in your head, get a grip on yourself and realize
that there are at least three ways to control your anger: You
can either express your anger, suppress it or calm yourself
down. Whatever you choose, it will help you control your anger.
Expressing your anger
- Yes, go ahead, explode! Let go of that burning emotion inside
your chest and let it all out.
But you have to learn one thing
- yes, you can express your anger but don't let it get out of
control and become a destructive force to hurt both the source
of your anger and yourself as well.
Anger is man's built-in defense
mechanism to ward off danger, to ensure our survival when we
are attacked.
When we're angry, our heart rate,
blood pressure, energy hormones, and adrenalin all go up, making
us emotionally and physically stronger to fight off a threat.
But anger, of course, has several
levels. You can't equate an enemy who wants to literally stab
your heart in the same level of hatred as a person who just
broke your heart.
Social norms, laws and common
sense dictate that we control our anger depending on the intensity
of the threats we face. We can't deliver karate blows against
every person who simply irritates or annoys us.
But, yes, you can still express
your strong emotions to someone who simply pisses you off. Be
careful though not to hurt his feelings too much; for instance,
don't call him nasty names.
Tell the person directly in his
face that his behavior is annoying you and making you feel uneasy.
Suppressing your anger
- Another way to control your raging emotion is to suppress
it, convert it or redirect it. If you feel that it's not yet
the time to express your anger, you may decide to freeze it,
stop thinking about it, or think of something positive to do
instead.
But the danger here is that your
bottled up feelings can explode inside you, which may cause
health problems like hypertension, depression or high blood
pressure.
Unreleased anger can also lead
to other problems like striking back at your perceived enemy
indirectly, or criticizing people even without justification.
Calm yourself - Among
the three ways to control anger, calming yourself is without
doubt the best option. When you do this, you not only control
your outward behavior but also your feelings, thus preventing
both physical confrontation -- which will inevitably bring you
harm -- and internal conflict, which could harm your health.
Although this is the best option,
this is also the hardest to do. But mental discipline and the
correct frame of mind, plus moral support from caring friends
or relatives, will surely enable you to control your anger in
the most effective manner.
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