controlling anger, managing anger, anger help management

Controlling Anger - 3 Ways to Manage Anger

By Michael Lee

If you feel like a volcano is about to explode in your head, get a grip on yourself and realize that there are at least three ways to control your anger: You can either express your anger, suppress it or calm yourself down. Whatever you choose, it will help you control your anger.

Expressing your anger - Yes, go ahead, explode! Let go of that burning emotion inside your chest and let it all out.

But you have to learn one thing - yes, you can express your anger but don't let it get out of control and become a destructive force to hurt both the source of your anger and yourself as well.

Anger is man's built-in defense mechanism to ward off danger, to ensure our survival when we are attacked.

When we're angry, our heart rate, blood pressure, energy hormones, and adrenalin all go up, making us emotionally and physically stronger to fight off a threat.

But anger, of course, has several levels. You can't equate an enemy who wants to literally stab your heart in the same level of hatred as a person who just broke your heart.

Social norms, laws and common sense dictate that we control our anger depending on the intensity of the threats we face. We can't deliver karate blows against every person who simply irritates or annoys us.

But, yes, you can still express your strong emotions to someone who simply pisses you off. Be careful though not to hurt his feelings too much; for instance, don't call him nasty names.

Tell the person directly in his face that his behavior is annoying you and making you feel uneasy.

Suppressing your anger - Another way to control your raging emotion is to suppress it, convert it or redirect it. If you feel that it's not yet the time to express your anger, you may decide to freeze it, stop thinking about it, or think of something positive to do instead.

But the danger here is that your bottled up feelings can explode inside you, which may cause health problems like hypertension, depression or high blood pressure.

Unreleased anger can also lead to other problems like striking back at your perceived enemy indirectly, or criticizing people even without justification.

Calm yourself - Among the three ways to control anger, calming yourself is without doubt the best option. When you do this, you not only control your outward behavior but also your feelings, thus preventing both physical confrontation -- which will inevitably bring you harm -- and internal conflict, which could harm your health.

Although this is the best option, this is also the hardest to do. But mental discipline and the correct frame of mind, plus moral support from caring friends or relatives, will surely enable you to control your anger in the most effective manner.

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